Lesson 3: One main idea in a sentence
In previous posts, I shared fundamentals of good clear writing. Lesson 1 was to write how you talk. Lesson 2 was to use small, familiar words. (Check them out if it's been a while since you reviewed these.)
Today is about keeping your reader engaged through sentence length.
When you were in school, your English composition teacher taught you about compound sentences, chastised you for run on sentences, circled problems with subject and verb agreement, and drilled you on rules for adding commas to keep long sentences grammatically correct.
No wonder you're confused.
Today, one of the best things you can do for clear, concise writing is to forget what your English Composition teacher taught you and stick to one main idea per sentence. What does that mean exactly?
Okay, let's review. A proper English sentence is composed of a subject, a verb, and an object. Right? (Trust me, it is.)
That's what makes up one main idea. One subject, one verb, one object.
So how long (or short) can a sentence be? Here's the guideline: 15 to 20 words per sentence. That's all you need.
BUT:
Should every sentence be 17.5 words long? No. That would put your reader to sleep. That would be boring writing.
The craft of writing involves varying your sentence length and mixing it up. Write a long sentence, followed by a short sentence. I call this the Morse Code Theory of Writing. Long. Short. Short. Long. Long. Short.
This gives your writing rhythm, or cadence, as creative writers call it.
How short can a sentence be? To be technically correct, all you need is two words: a subject and a verb. That's a sentence with impact.
For centuries writers have been writing these short sentences when they really want to make a sentence stand out. After all, the shortest sentence in the Bible is only two words long: Jesus wept.
How To Use This Tool
Long sentences are hard to follow. Check out this one-sentence excerpt from a self-help book I was asked to edit.
In the last chapter you developed your purposes, refined them with others who may be affected and took a look at what you are doing to make them happen and what you are doing to keep them from happening.
Word count: 39 words
Did you read that over several times? Or did you just give up? If you're like most of today's readers, you gave up. (I'll post about readers' attention spans next week)
The problem with the sentence is not that the information is complicated, it's that readers are asked to take in too many main ideas in one sentence.
So what do you do? You use a tool called The Meat Cleaver. Hack that sentence into separate parts, each with one, easy-to-understand main idea.
Here's the logical break:
In the last chapter you developed your purposes, refined them with others who may be affected (WHACK, here's where you slam down the Meat Cleaver) and took a look at what you are doing to make them happen and what you are doing to keep them from happening.
Now, here's the thing about The Meat Cleaver. Many times you have to do some fixing at the point where you chopped. Cauterizing is the big quarter word for it. Because your new second sentence can't stand on its own as is. So, do this:
Add an and before refined in the first sentence:
In the last chapter you developed your purposes and refined them with others who may be affected.
The new second sentence could look like this:
You also took a look at what you are doing to make them happen and what you are doing to keep them from happening.
Now the paragraph looks like this:
In the last chapter you developed your purposes and refined them with others who may be affected. You also took a look at what you are doing to make them happen and what you are doing to keep them from happening.
Word count: Sentence 1= 17. Sentence 2 = 24.
Sentence 2 is still a tad long for the guideline and can be tightened up with some editing and using reader-friendly contractions. (I'll post on contractions later--they really are okay to use.)
But isn't this new paragraph with one main idea per sentence easier to understand?
Even short sentences can be confusing if the main idea is, too. Like this one:
This is the consultant's revised report, quite different from the first one, which badly upset the task force.
Word count: 18
It fits the word count guideline, and technically it's a correct sentence. But it loses the clarity race. Because it has more than one main idea. What upset the task force? The revised report? Or the first one? The writer is the only one who would know.
The solution?
Bust it into two sentences, each with a main idea. Like this:
This is the consultant's revised recommendation. It is quite different from the first report, which badly upset the task force.
Word count: sentence one = 6 words. Sentence two = 14.
Those sentences are not dumbed down because the sentences are shorter. By taking out a comma and adding a period, those sentences are now clear. That's precision in writing. That's clarity for your reader. That's good writing.
Today is about keeping your reader engaged through sentence length.
When you were in school, your English composition teacher taught you about compound sentences, chastised you for run on sentences, circled problems with subject and verb agreement, and drilled you on rules for adding commas to keep long sentences grammatically correct.
No wonder you're confused.
Today, one of the best things you can do for clear, concise writing is to forget what your English Composition teacher taught you and stick to one main idea per sentence. What does that mean exactly?
Okay, let's review. A proper English sentence is composed of a subject, a verb, and an object. Right? (Trust me, it is.)
That's what makes up one main idea. One subject, one verb, one object.
So how long (or short) can a sentence be? Here's the guideline: 15 to 20 words per sentence. That's all you need.
BUT:
Should every sentence be 17.5 words long? No. That would put your reader to sleep. That would be boring writing.
The craft of writing involves varying your sentence length and mixing it up. Write a long sentence, followed by a short sentence. I call this the Morse Code Theory of Writing. Long. Short. Short. Long. Long. Short.
This gives your writing rhythm, or cadence, as creative writers call it.
How short can a sentence be? To be technically correct, all you need is two words: a subject and a verb. That's a sentence with impact.
For centuries writers have been writing these short sentences when they really want to make a sentence stand out. After all, the shortest sentence in the Bible is only two words long: Jesus wept.
How To Use This Tool
Long sentences are hard to follow. Check out this one-sentence excerpt from a self-help book I was asked to edit.
In the last chapter you developed your purposes, refined them with others who may be affected and took a look at what you are doing to make them happen and what you are doing to keep them from happening.
Word count: 39 words
Did you read that over several times? Or did you just give up? If you're like most of today's readers, you gave up. (I'll post about readers' attention spans next week)
The problem with the sentence is not that the information is complicated, it's that readers are asked to take in too many main ideas in one sentence.
So what do you do? You use a tool called The Meat Cleaver. Hack that sentence into separate parts, each with one, easy-to-understand main idea.
Here's the logical break:
In the last chapter you developed your purposes, refined them with others who may be affected (WHACK, here's where you slam down the Meat Cleaver) and took a look at what you are doing to make them happen and what you are doing to keep them from happening.
Now, here's the thing about The Meat Cleaver. Many times you have to do some fixing at the point where you chopped. Cauterizing is the big quarter word for it. Because your new second sentence can't stand on its own as is. So, do this:
Add an and before refined in the first sentence:
In the last chapter you developed your purposes and refined them with others who may be affected.
The new second sentence could look like this:
You also took a look at what you are doing to make them happen and what you are doing to keep them from happening.
Now the paragraph looks like this:
In the last chapter you developed your purposes and refined them with others who may be affected. You also took a look at what you are doing to make them happen and what you are doing to keep them from happening.
Word count: Sentence 1= 17. Sentence 2 = 24.
Sentence 2 is still a tad long for the guideline and can be tightened up with some editing and using reader-friendly contractions. (I'll post on contractions later--they really are okay to use.)
But isn't this new paragraph with one main idea per sentence easier to understand?
Even short sentences can be confusing if the main idea is, too. Like this one:
This is the consultant's revised report, quite different from the first one, which badly upset the task force.
Word count: 18
It fits the word count guideline, and technically it's a correct sentence. But it loses the clarity race. Because it has more than one main idea. What upset the task force? The revised report? Or the first one? The writer is the only one who would know.
The solution?
Bust it into two sentences, each with a main idea. Like this:
This is the consultant's revised recommendation. It is quite different from the first report, which badly upset the task force.
Word count: sentence one = 6 words. Sentence two = 14.
Those sentences are not dumbed down because the sentences are shorter. By taking out a comma and adding a period, those sentences are now clear. That's precision in writing. That's clarity for your reader. That's good writing.
posted by Joan McCain at 2:51 PM
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